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Why Xiang Linsao In The Workplace Is Not Welcome By His Colleagues

2011/12/16 11:27:00 115

Some people, whenever they are working in any unit, are accustomed to pouring water on others if they encounter unpleasant things. They always hope others can help and solve difficulties for him.

As a result, colleagues can only alienate him.

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There are other kinds of people who are independent and self reliant, and do not think of escape from big difficulties. Instead, they try to figure out how to solve such a problem. Even if he does not ask for help, he can always get help from the people around him.


This is not difficult to understand.

The former has a "victim consciousness" and hopes to get others.

Sympathy

This, on the contrary, aroused the resentment of others; while the latter held the belief of being positive, independent and self reliant, and won the respect of people, so he offered to lend a helping hand.


This victimization consciousness is a normal psychological process, because everyone is unconditionally influenced by their parents from an early age.

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The process of psychological development has gone through the process from "complete self consciousness" to gradually learning to distinguish oneself from others, learning to understand the feelings and thoughts of others, and arriving at the position of others.

If a physically mature individual always wishes others to pay attention or help him unconditionally, it is a sign of psychological immaturity.

It is true that every adult can not help but yearn for unconditional attention which is similar to that of his youth. But the adult world needs more rational logic and rules of conduct. Despite deep expectations, actions need self-discipline to conform to social norms.

Therefore, the "victim consciousness" is not well received by her expectations, and is well understood.


Those who are independent and self reliant are precisely those who try to make their behavior conform to the norms of adults.

The burden they carry can be felt by the people around them, and the people around them can feel the same for their efforts to shoulder the load they should bear. Therefore, they can easily resonate with each other and win respect.


From the perspective of cognitive therapy in psychological counseling, when a person takes responsibility for his task, this positive cognitive way has determined that his way of doing things will be more rational, because he does not regard the task as a burden, and his preferred solution to the problem will not be shirk responsibility.

As a result, we often see that the more confident people are, the more difficult tasks are, and the more energy and energy they can inspire.


In the workplace, you have to talk about skills if you want to complain.


The way of complaining is very important.


Use the words of praise as the beginning of complaint.

On the one hand, you can lower your opponent's hostility, and more importantly, your compliments have set a standard for each other in advance.

Remember, the person who listens to you may have nothing to do with what you want to complain about. You don't even know what the situation is. If you start off at the start, you will only arouse opposition and self-defense.


Control your emotions.


If you are angry with your boss and express your dissatisfaction with his arrangements or practices, he will probably get angry.

Therefore, even if we feel unfair, dissatisfied or grieved, we should try our best to calm ourselves down.

Perhaps you have accumulated a lot of feelings of discontent, but can not shake off at this time, but should talk about the matter.

Too emotional can not clearly and clearly explain your reasons, but also makes the leader mistaken that you are dissatisfied with him rather than his arrangement, so you should find another way out.


Choose the right time to complain.


When your boss and colleagues are annoying, do you find him complaining, not annoying or irritating him? Even if your complaints are legitimate and reasonable, others will be disgusted and excluded from you.

It's not good for your colleagues to hear you complain about leadership.

If you fail in your boss and your colleagues do not agree with you, how can you comfort yourself? If it is caused by yourself, they will not have the heart to say that you are not.

Seeing that your relationship with your boss is deadlocked, some colleagues will alienate you to avoid arousing suspicion and isolate you.

What is worse is that those who are not interested can reflect your words to their superiors and add to the cracks between you and your superiors.


Propose solutions to problems


When you complain about leaders and colleagues, it is best to put forward constructive suggestions to weaken the unhappiness of the other party.

Of course, leadership usually takes account of the way you think about it.

Therefore, if you can not provide an immediate solution, you should at least offer some valuable reference points for solving the problem.

Such a leader will really feel that you are thinking about him.


Don't delay your work.


Even if you are greatly wronged, you should not bring these emotions into your work.

Many people think they are right and wait for their boss to give themselves a "statement".

Normal work is interrupted, affecting the progress of work, other colleagues are dissatisfied with you, a higher level of boss will also make a bad impression on you, and the boss has more reason to say how wrong you are.

In this way, you will be in a worse position in the future.

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